Wow. It has been a long time, and I'm sure you have all completely given up on me ever blogging again. So, here is the one sentence recap of the last couple months. I'm still working at the gym (though recently cut down to two days a week) and raising support (I'm pretty far behind, please pray) while staying active in church through music, bible study and co-producing a Christmas extravaganza, all while staying sane by playing volleyball (and traveling to my first tournament) and writing songs. Whew. That was actually pretty complete. If you throw in a couple of movies, a lot of free meals, and season three of Arrested Development it would almost be a video blog--minus the video part. I guess you'll have to wait until my reality show starts. Patience.
I just got back from Bible study and a very long and interesting conversation about science. In case you didn't know, I think that science as we know it is completely bogus. That's where this other guy and I basically disagreed. We argued about it for at least a couple of hours and got nowhere except he got to hear me say that I don't believe in gravity. Then, he heard what I think is an equally plausible explanation for things dropping to the ground, namely, little tiny bugs that you can't see or feel, that are always pulling things down to the ground, so when you let go of something they finally succeed. Just so you know, I don't actually believe that. Maybe I'll post about it in more detail some other time. I'm a regular Mr. Wizard.
Support raising has been really hard for me the past few months. I've been kind of paralyzed by fear, and I think I stumbled upon a habitual sin of mine when thinking about it today. I'm paralyzed by a sort of lazy inertia. An object at rest stays at rest, right? I know, the guy who hates science just used a science analogy. So what, I'm a hypocrite. Anyway, I think the main reason I struggle with doing new or different things is that I'm just afraid to jump out there and do it. With raising support, I know I am doing it for a worthwhile cause, and that God is glorified even in the process. But since it is different, I have to constantly battle to go do it. With dating, girls, marriage, and all that stuff, I know I want that and even lust after the future possibility of a family, but I am completely unwilling to interact with the opposite sex (does anyone know a good mail order service?). It all brings up something that a Kierkegaard essay illumined for me last spring. The essay showed me that to have good intentions isn't enough. You can't say "I want to glorify God by getting a job and serving Him in that position." God is not glorified in intentions when they don't lead to something greater. I will find the actual quote I have in mind and post more on it tomorrow, but for now I will leave you with this one. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." It reminds me of what Christ said in Matthew 7,
21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' 23 And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'" Whoa. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions.